The Fight, Flight, Freeze and Fawn Response
When we face stress or perceived danger, our bodies respond instinctively through what is commonly known as the fight, flight, freeze or fawn response. These are automatic survival mechanisms driven by the nervous system, designed to protect us from harm. While these responses are normal and necessary in moments of actual danger, they can also be triggered by emotional stress or past trauma, sometimes long after the threat has passed.
Understanding these responses is an essential part of trauma awareness, emotional regulation and healing. For many survivors of domestic violence, childhood trauma or abuse, these reactions can become a frequent part of daily life, often without them realising why they feel the way they do. Each response affects the body and mind differently and can impact how someone navigates relationships, stress and decision-making. Let’s explore what each response looks like, why it occurs and how it may present in everyday life.
Fight
The fight response occurs when the brain senses a threat and believes it can be overcome with confrontation. The body prepares to defend itself physically or emotionally. Adrenaline floods the system, muscles tense, and the heart rate increases. This is not just limited to physical aggression, it can also show up in verbal reactions, irritability or emotional outbursts.
In someone who has experienced trauma, the fight response might be activated by perceived threats to their emotional safety. This could lead to defensiveness, anger or a quick temper in situations that don't necessarily call for it. While this reaction is rooted in the instinct to protect oneself, it can sometimes lead to conflict or self-sabotage in personal relationships.
Signs of the fight response:
Clenched jaw or grinding teeth
Urge to punch, stomp or throw objects
Intense anger or rage
Loud or confrontational speech
Crying in frustration or anger
A burning or knotted sensation in the stomach
Feeling like you need to “explode” to be heard.
Flight
When the brain senses danger but believes confrontation would be unsafe, the flight response kicks in. This reaction prepares the body to escape the situation as quickly as possible. It can also look like avoidance, overworking or keeping constantly busy to distract from fear or anxiety.
In trauma survivors, the flight response can develop into chronic restlessness or the avoidance of conflict altogether. People may feel they can never stop or relax, as if something bad will happen if they slow down. The drive to stay “busy” often masks underlying stress or fear.
Signs of the flight response:
Feeling restless or unable to relax
Excessive fidgeting, pacing or tapping
Urge to leave uncomfortable situations abruptly
Overworking or perfectionism
Difficulty sitting still or focusing
Numbness in the arms or legs
Darting eyes or hypervigilance
Freeze
The freeze response occurs when neither fighting nor fleeing seems like a safe or possible option. The body goes into shutdown mode, often as a last resort. This reaction can feel like being stuck, numb or emotionally disconnected. It may also manifest as dissociation and a feeling of being detached from one’s body or surroundings.
This response is common in individuals who have experienced overwhelming or prolonged trauma, especially in situations where they were powerless to act. In daily life, the freeze response may show up as difficulty making decisions, feeling zoned out or shutting down in stressful conversations or environments.
Signs of the freeze response:
Feeling paralysed or unable to move or speak
Numbness or coldness in the body
Shallow breathing or a pounding heart
“Zoning out” or dissociating
Struggling to make decisions or take action
A sense of dread or helplessness
Appearing withdrawn or spaced out
Fawn
The fawn response is a more recently identified survival strategy. It involves attempting to appease or please others in order to avoid conflict or harm. It is especially common in individuals who grew up in abusive, neglectful or high-conflict environments, where the only way to stay safe was to make themselves agreeable and invisible.
Unlike the more reactive fight, flight or freeze responses, fawning often appears as compliance or over-accommodation. People with a dominant fawn response may have difficulty saying no, setting boundaries or prioritising their own needs. Over time, this pattern can lead to codependent relationships, burnout and a loss of personal identity.
Signs of the fawn response:
Always agreeing to avoid conflict
Difficulty saying no, even when uncomfortable
Feeling responsible for others’ emotions or wellbeing
Over-apologising or over-explaining
Ignoring personal needs to keep others happy
Becoming overly helpful or compliant
Vulnerability to manipulation or exploitation
Moving Forward with Awareness and Healing
The fight, flight, freeze and fawn responses are not signs of weakness but are natural reactions that have helped many people survive deeply distressing experiences. But when these responses become chronic or are triggered by everyday situations, they can impact emotional health, relationships and overall wellbeing.
Learning to recognise these responses is a powerful step towards healing. It allows us to understand why we feel the way we do and gives us the opportunity to learn new coping strategies. If you or someone you know is stuck in these stress responses and struggling to regulate emotions or feel safe, support is available. We walk alongside survivors, helping them understand their nervous system, build resilience and create a pathway to healing.
